Sweeney Snob

Have you heard about the Sweeney Todd movie that's coming out? I've had several thoughts I would like to share about the recent movie musicals.

The commercial for Sweeney Todd has a small little musical clip in the background. No biggie except that it features a happy, normal chord resolution in a happy, normal major key. I was surprised because that little clip is probably the least appropriate sample of the music in the show which is mostly dark and cynical and weird. Also, the full title is Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, but the commercial only calls it Sweeney Todd and only flashes the full title screen for a moment before encouraging everyone to make it their holiday movie.

Miscues all the way! I really hope people know somehow what they're getting into when they take Grandma and the kiddies to see a musical slasher movie. Sure, it's one of the best slasher musicals EVER, but it certainly hasn't been marketed with the most truthful angle...at least in my opinion.

I was also thinking of how much I've appreciated the IDEA of musicals being brought to the big screen again. I'm such a huge fan of old musicals on cable and dvd. I'd like the rest of the world to not think musicals are stupid or to get embarrassed when the characters break out into song. But then, I've been so disappointed by the recent movie musicals. They tend to cast pretty people who can't sing. There are THOUSANDS of pretty people who actually CAN sing that should be in the movie. They just aren't famous in the mainstream. But they should be.

For example:
Moulin Rouge (OK, pretty much everyone in that because it stunk, but are you kidding me? Nicole Kidman)
Phantom of the Opera (Yikes, Emmy Rossum and Gerard Butler. Both are gorgeous and can't sing for poop.)
Rent (Ay, poor Rosario Dawson. They were able to reunite almost the entire kick ass original Broadway cast and they couldn't find a real heroin-chic rock star?)

I'll give props to Chicago...although I still haven't convinced myself that Renee Zellweger is anything but a pair of weird lips on a single sheet of sheer typing paper, but then again she was cast in the "guest star" role of Roxy (meaning Broadway lets all the Hollywood folks that can hold a tune do that role on the big stage).

Hairspray...eh. It didn't kill me to see it, but there are only two memorable songs in that whole show anyway and they're at the very beginning and the very end, so you have to cheerlead yourself through the middle. (Nikki Blonski was very cute and had a nice voice. I didn't mind her at all, but John Travolta was just not right. Why couldn't they put a giant drag queen in that role like God intended?)


I guess that's it for "recent" movie musicals. While I appreciate more people getting acquainted and reintroduced to this genre, in a way, I'm also kind of a snob about it. I can see doing Chicago & Hairspray...they have mainstream music and snappy costumes, but Stephen Sondheim's Sweeney Todd? The average joe needs something of a Sondheim warm up first. Try some Into the Woods or even Company before you give 'em the Sweeney. As much as I want to show the world the wonderful world of musical theatre, it doesn't come for free. You have to log in the hours, especially to appreciate the genius of Sondheim's crazy-awesome lyrics and twisty-winding melodies.

Johnny Depp totally excels as Tim Burton's b*tch, but I sure hope he can wail. And Helena Bonham Carter looks creepy-good as a grown woman in pigtails, but I'll take Angela Lansbury or Patti LuPone any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Ah well. Let us attend the tale...