Did you ever play that game where you can only walk on (or jump between) specifically colored tiles on the floor? Were your parents ever annoyed because you had to take the long way around to make sure you didn't fall in the invisible lava? I am eight years older than my sister, placing me in perfect big sis=free babysitter position. Sometimes when we were bored at the house, we decided that all the carpet in the den was really lava and we couldn't step on it. We immediately jumped onto a couch and then strategically tossed the accent pillows around the room between the couches so that we could move around the room without being melted by Carpetlava. Oh, the pillows were lava retardant, somehow. Once everything was in place, we then entertained ourselves by jumping from couch to couch to chair to footstool to pillow to pillow to pillow in a big circuit, laughing all the way. We climbed and jumped all over the furniture we weren't "allowed to play on." It was awesome! It's funny, we weren't allowed to play on the furniture like that because it would wear out the upholstery or hurt the springs or whatever, but we actually had that furniture for most of my at-home life. Imagine if we HADN'T played Carpetlava...that 70s furniture would probably STILL be at the house. When the parents came home, Carpetlava became plain old carpet again. Boring. Sometimes, we also pretended that the tile in the kitchen was really a swamp filled with alligators. We have this black iron railing delineating the kitchen from the den. The slits in the railing are plenty big enough to place your feet in, so once Alligators were declared, we jumped into the slits of the railing and navigated our way around the kitchen as carefully as possible. We were often told that we shouldn't hang on the railing or play on it because someone could get hurt or because it would loosen the railing from the floor and strip it. But, in my at-home life, no one I knew ever got hurt on the railing (other than one of the neighbors briefly getting his giant kid-head stuck between the bars. He was fine, just scared. It was sooo hard not to laugh at him crying with his head stuck in the railing.) and my dad only tightened the rail once or twice. Without fail, Mom would call us for dinner while we were clearly maneuvering just out of the Alligators' reach. Then came the challenging task of reaching over the railing to pull a chair away from the table and then swinging over the railing to get into that chair. More planning was involved to get us both into our chairs the same way. Our efforts and sisterly teamwork in these dire situations were rarely, if ever, lauded or appreciated. In our parents' eyes, we were just rushing our kitchen furniture into disrepair...the same kitchen furniture that's still there, in fact. When I'm a parent and my kids want to (no, must) walk some funky way or path to avoid something I can't see, I'm gonna try to be as patient as I can and remember that A) Furniture is really strong, B)Siblings should work together, C)Avoiding Alligators and/or Lava is extremely important in the development of problem solving skills, and D) Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Watch out where you walk, you don't want your feet bitten off by an Alligator or melted by Carpetlava.
Have you heard about the Sweeney Todd movie that's coming out? I've had several thoughts I would like to share about the recent movie musicals. The commercial for Sweeney Todd has a small little musical clip in the background. No biggie except that it features a happy, normal chord resolution in a happy, normal major key. I was surprised because that little clip is probably the least appropriate sample of the music in the show which is mostly dark and cynical and weird. Also, the full title is Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, but the commercial only calls it Sweeney Todd and only flashes the full title screen for a moment before encouraging everyone to make it their holiday movie.
Miscues all the way! I really hope people know somehow what they're getting into when they take Grandma and the kiddies to see a musical slasher movie. Sure, it's one of the best slasher musicals EVER, but it certainly hasn't been marketed with the most truthful angle...at least in my opinion. I was also thinking of how much I've appreciated the IDEA of musicals being brought to the big screen again. I'm such a huge fan of old musicals on cable and dvd. I'd like the rest of the world to not think musicals are stupid or to get embarrassed when the characters break out into song. But then, I've been so disappointed by the recent movie musicals. They tend to cast pretty people who can't sing. There are THOUSANDS of pretty people who actually CAN sing that should be in the movie. They just aren't famous in the mainstream. But they should be. For example: Moulin Rouge (OK, pretty much everyone in that because it stunk, but are you kidding me? Nicole Kidman) Phantom of the Opera (Yikes, Emmy Rossum and Gerard Butler. Both are gorgeous and can't sing for poop.) Rent (Ay, poor Rosario Dawson. They were able to reunite almost the entire kick ass original Broadway cast and they couldn't find a real heroin-chic rock star?) I'll give props to Chicago...although I still haven't convinced myself that Renee Zellweger is anything but a pair of weird lips on a single sheet of sheer typing paper, but then again she was cast in the "guest star" role of Roxy (meaning Broadway lets all the Hollywood folks that can hold a tune do that role on the big stage). Hairspray...eh. It didn't kill me to see it, but there are only two memorable songs in that whole show anyway and they're at the very beginning and the very end, so you have to cheerlead yourself through the middle. (Nikki Blonski was very cute and had a nice voice. I didn't mind her at all, but John Travolta was just not right. Why couldn't they put a giant drag queen in that role like God intended?) I guess that's it for "recent" movie musicals. While I appreciate more people getting acquainted and reintroduced to this genre, in a way, I'm also kind of a snob about it. I can see doing Chicago & Hairspray...they have mainstream music and snappy costumes, but Stephen Sondheim's Sweeney Todd? The average joe needs something of a Sondheim warm up first. Try some Into the Woods or even Company before you give 'em the Sweeney. As much as I want to show the world the wonderful world of musical theatre, it doesn't come for free. You have to log in the hours, especially to appreciate the genius of Sondheim's crazy-awesome lyrics and twisty-winding melodies. Johnny Depp totally excels as Tim Burton's b*tch, but I sure hope he can wail. And Helena Bonham Carter looks creepy-good as a grown woman in pigtails, but I'll take Angela Lansbury or Patti LuPone any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Ah well. Let us attend the tale...
